Family Life: The Birthday Week

I had a birthday recently, and I celebrated with our family’s custom: the birthday week. This is a tradition that really works, and I recommend it.

Almost everyone, from the teenage years on, has had at least one birthday that was a crushing disappointment. No one paid much attention that year for some reason; or you didn’t get the one present you were hoping for, or – if you’re a teenager – a fight with your parents destroyed the whole day. Magic solution: the birthday week.

During the birthday week, you designate seven full days to be nice to yourself. Other people aren’t really part of this: it's not a week of tyranny over your family and friends. Maybe they’ll let you out of doing the dishes a few times, but in general, this is a week in which you take responsibility for making yourself happy.

You allow yourself some of the little treats that you’d ordinarily skip. An affordable luxury – like a book or a sweater – that you’ve been wanting to buy, but haven’t? Buy it. Making time for lunch with a friend, even though you’re busy? Do it. Coffee and a magazine for half an hour after lunch, even though you have work to do? Make it happen.

In our family, we find that the birthday week gets us out of that whiny, “Does anyone really love me?” state of mind that birthdays seem to engender. So when the actual day rolls around, somewhere mid-week, whatever your family and friends choose to do for you is nice, but not the whole story. You’re having a good time before the day even starts.

And when the birthday week is over, you’re ready to admit that you’ve had your fun and that normal life can resume.